Quick answer: For your first strap-on, choose a ready-to-wear strap-on set with an adjustable belt and a modest-sized dildo. If you already own a dildo with a flared base, a separate harness gives you more choice. Browse our strap-ons.
Key takeaways
- Strap-on sets are the easiest way to start.
- A harness lets you choose and swap your own dildo.
- Start smaller than you think: comfort beats size.
- Use plenty of water-based lube and go slowly.
Types of strap-on
| Type | What it is | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| Strap-on set | A harness with a dildo included, ready to wear | Beginners, simplicity |
| Harness only | A harness you pair with your own dildo | Choice and upgrading over time |
| Vibrating strap-on | A set or harness with built-in vibration, sometimes remote controlled | Extra sensation for both partners |
| Hollow strap-on | An open, hollow shaft worn by a partner with a penis | Extra length or support |
| Strapless strap-on | A dual-ended toy held by the wearer, no harness | Experienced users who want closeness |
Choosing a harness
A good harness sits snugly on the hips without digging in. Look for adjustable straps, comfortable materials and a sturdy ring or opening that holds the dildo firmly. If you are buying a harness on its own, check that your dildo has a flared base wide enough to stay in the ring.
Choosing a size
It is tempting to go big, but comfort matters most, especially for the receiving partner. A slimmer, shorter dildo is easier to control and enjoy at first. Check the length and width on each product page, and remember you can always size up later.
Tips for your first time
- Talk first: agree on pace, positions and a way to pause.
- Fit the harness before you start and adjust it so it does not slip.
- Use plenty of water-based lube, especially with silicone dildos.
- Start slowly. The wearer has less feedback than with their own body, so check in often.
- Clean the dildo and harness after use, following our toy cleaning guide.
Frequently asked questions
What size strap-on should a beginner choose?
Choose a slimmer, shorter dildo than you think you need. Comfort matters more than size, and you can always upgrade later. Check the length and width on the product page.
Can I use any dildo with a harness?
Only dildos with a flared base that is wider than the harness ring. Check the ring size and the dildo base before you buy.
What is a strapless strap-on?
A dual-ended toy with no harness. One end sits inside the wearer and the other end is for their partner. They take some practice to hold in place.
What is a hollow strap-on for?
A hollow strap-on is open inside, so a partner with a penis can wear it for extra length or support.
Which lube should I use with a strap-on?
Water-based lube works with every material, including silicone dildos. Use plenty and reapply as needed.
Need help choosing? Call us on 1800 249 569 or visit our Carrum Downs store. Every order ships in discreet, unbranded packaging, with free standard shipping on orders over $100.
